so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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