I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
