Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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