I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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