Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
