Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
