dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I cockslap morals
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Nobody cheats on THIS.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
