yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
