one two three fourrrrnication!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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