I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize