I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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