At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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