is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
