Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
