Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
