I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I understand Curling. That high.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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