Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
