hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
