But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
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Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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