I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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