His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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