I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
