You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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