Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
