u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
