you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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