have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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