I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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