i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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