return my video game
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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