I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
