I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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