Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
