i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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