I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
