Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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