Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
