2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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