Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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