Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize