i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
