We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut my penus on the lid.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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