He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize