i just wanna soil my oats bro
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
