About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
