I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
