well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You can't just leave with hair like that
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
