I'm jealous of your bromance
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
