You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
