he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
