hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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