I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
3pm strippers are depressing
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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