i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
