Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
