yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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