This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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