We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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