I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
